absence of pain, but vitality: the freedom to experience
spontaneous feelings. It is part of the kaleidoscope of
life that these feelings are not only cheerful, "beautiful,"
and "good"; they also can display the whole scale of
human experience, including envy, jealousy, rage,
disgust, greed, despair, and mourning. But this
freedom cannot be achieved if the childhood roots
are cut off. For a person with narcissistic problems,
access to the true self is thus only possible when he
is no longer afraid of the intense "psychotic" emotional
world of his early childhood. Once he has experienced
this through the analytic process, it is no longer strange
and threatening and need no longer be hidden behind
the prison walls of illusion."
("Narcissistic" here is a technical thing -- but in the
case of a "gifted child" -- such as I once was -- it sort
of comes down to being valued for one's attributes
and achievements, instead of simply being appreciated
for who one is; out of this comes an adult with some
hangups about achievement, someone who both
*has* to be a high achiever, and yet can *never* do
enough... until, hopefully, this person learns to live
their own life, not someone else's.)
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