self-deception

My feelings were hurt
because I felt like
my feelings weren't taken into account.

But I had disguised my feelings before,
or downplayed them,
or simply didn't know what they were.

Wrong Desire is the Source of Suffering‎

"[...] They shed their sense of responsibility
Long ago, when they lost their votes, and the bribes; the mob
That used to grant power, high office, the legions, everything,
Curtails its desires, and reveals its anxiety for two things only,
Bread and circuses."

"So is there nothing worth people praying for? If you'll take
My advice, you'll allow the gods to determine what's right
For us, and what's likely to benefit our situation; for
The gods grant us gifts that are more fitting than nice.
They show more care for us than we do for ourselves. We
Seek marriage and offspring driven by blind emotion, by
Vain desire, while the gods know all about the children
We'll have, and what kind of wife ours will turn out to be.
Still, if you want a reason for prayer, for offering a pretty
White piglet's innards, the sacred sausages, at the shrines,
Then you might pray for a sound mind in a healthy body.
Ask for a heart filled with courage, without fear of death,
That regards long life as among the least of nature's gifts,
That can endure any hardship, to which anger is unknown,
That desires nothing, and gives more credit to all the labours
And cruel sufferings of Hercules, than to all the love-making
All the feasting, and all the downy pillows of Sardanapalus.
The prayer I offer you can grant yourself; without doubt,
The one true path that leads to a tranquil life is that of virtue.
If we were prudent, you'd possess no power, Fortune[!]: it's we
Who make you a goddess, and grant you a place in the sky."

- Juvenal, http://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Latin/JuvenalSatires10.htm

the problem of (re)thinking bodies

«Thought is a consequence of the provocation of an encounter. Thought
is what confronts us from the outside, unexpectedly: "Something in the
world forces us to think" (Deleuze, "Difference and Repetition", page
139). What confronts us necessarily from outside the concepts we
already have, from outside the subjectivities we already are, from
outside the material realities we already know is the problem. The
problem provokes thought [...] Thought-events [...] are singularities
that mix with and have effects on other materialities, with other
political [and] cultural [...] events.» Elizabeth Grosz, "Space, Time,
and Perversion", 1995, pp. 128-9, Epigraph to Nicole Dawson's Master's
thesis, "(Re)Thinking bodies: Deleuze and Guattari's becoming-woman"

She (Dawson) continues on page 2: "Becoming-woman is an occurrence in
which the poles constituted of the dualism and enforced by dualistic
thought no longer serve to determine a body's experience of itself."

And on page 3: "It is not unlikely that these transformations will
have political and empirical consequences, but any transformations
that might arise of conceptual shifts inspired by becomings-woman are
to be regarded as open ended -- open, that is, to the endless
possibilities of becoming other (other than what (one) has been, other
than what (one) presently is, other than what (one) *might* come to
be)." (My emphasis.)

creativity and lack thereof

«Kris (cited in Martindale, 1999) proposed that creative individuals
are better able to shift between primary process and secondary process
modes of thinking than uncreative individuals. The primary-secondary
process continuum is assumed by Fromm (cited in Martindale, 1999) to
be the main dimension along which cognition changes. Primary process
can be detected in normal states such as dreams, as well as in deviant
states such as psychosis and hypnosis. It can be characterised as
autistic, free-associative, analogical, and involving concrete images
as opposed to abstract concepts. Secondary process thought can be
described as abstract, logical, reality-oriented thought of waking
consciousness (Martindale, 1999). According to Kris (cited in
Martindale, 1999), creative inspiration includes a regression to a
primary process state of consciousness. This state presumably
facilitates the discovery of new combinations of mental elements.
Creative elaboration, in turn, is marked by a return to secondary
process thought. Uncreative people are assumed to be caught at one
point in the primary-secondary process continuum. Hence, they are not
able to develop creative ideas. Martindale quotes several lines of
research as evidence for this theory, including that creative people
are found to be more easily hypnotised than uncreative people (Lynn &
Rhue, 1986). Wild (cited in Martindale, 1999) found evidence that
highly creative individuals are better able to shift between use of
primary process and secondary process cognition.» -- A cross-cultural
investigation in suggestibility and creative imagination in young
adults, Claudia Trebes, Master thesis presented in partial fulfilment
of the requirements of the degree Master of Arts (Psychology) at the
University of Stellenbosch

(Martindale, 1999) is Martindale, C. 1999. "7 Biological Bases of
Creativity.", in Robert J. Sternberg, ed., Handbook of creativity,
Cambridge University Press, pp. 137-152 (mostly available on Google
Books, at http://bit.ly/qFBwhS).

love grows

I think love needs to grow in a context of visceral conflict
either involving eating really greasy food and drinking a lot
or playing sports
or both

think about families
Thanksgiving, we go toss the football around
and eat til we're sick
then start over again
OK, maybe not every family
OK, maybe not even my family
but it's close

Four Freedoms of Free Wetware (draft)

(0) the freedom to use your body and mind how you see fit
(1) the freedom to compare one situation to another honestly and to
act on these judgments
(2) the freedom to engage with whomever you'd like in the pursuit of
pleasure or power
(3) the freedom to fill your time with the things you find important,
and to change what you're doing to suit circumstances